Women Over 40 Rock!

There are a few good things about getting older….some movie tickets are cheaper, some restaurants give discounts, my Y charges us oldies-but-goodies a little less monthly, and some travel modes take a little off.
But then there’s the other side….
A friend I’ve know since college is in the hospital with progressive lung disease…he probably won’t be going home again. Another friend was rescued from his apt. in NY by firemen….doesn’t know what happened, as he was unconscious when they found him…probably something he left on the stove, though. I just heard from another friend that her father committed suicide on Xmas Day, so she’s taking care of her mom now. And the number of friends and relatives with medical problems is too high to count. Suffice it to say I no longer look forward to Xmas cards from friends I’m only in touch with then…their cards are usually full of not-so-delightful news.
BUT just as I was beginning to get bogged down with all this, I got a call from an 84 year old friend…would I join her and her husband in a visit to the annual L.A. Book Festival at UCLA? And I did. 91 degrees, thousands of people, too many book kiosks and programs to count…and these friends in their 80s spent all day there having a ball! - Then I go to my water aerobic class at the Y, and there we are singing Happy Birthday to one of our class members who just hit 88…lives alone, drives, does countless hours of charity work - and we talk about our other class member who recently turned 100 and only now has finally agreed to move in with her daughter. Then I think of my 83 year old friend living alone and still driving to auditions all over the place (well, at least as often as people in the biz come to their senses and write parts for 83 yr olds); my 67 yr. old artist friend in OK who is building a studio in her backyard…by herself; my 70 yr. old friend in NY whose wish it is to visit every country…and she’s well on her way to fulfilling it; and friends in their 60s on both coasts who will be doing the AIDS Walks this year, as they have for the last ten.
So I guess all is not lost as one reaches retirement age after all….there are more than enough of us around, and ever-so-active, to prove it! - So why is it that I don’t see all these active friends of mine - or indeed, myself - represented in tv shows and movies which they want us to believe are about real people??? Oh they represent my friends in medical trouble, but not the vast majority of us who are still out here saying there are never enough hours in the day for us! We are a huge percentage of the citizens of this country, and yet you’d never know it by watching our media. Shame on them! And shame on us for putting up with it! Go to your computer right now, or pick up your pen, and email or write the tv stations and production companies and your local newspapers and say what the heck is wrong with the media??? We are here! We contribute to society! We make a difference! And we’re damn tired of being ignored!!!!
Judith Can-You-Hear-Me-Now? Drake, blogger for In the Trenches Productions / The First Entertainment Website for Women Over 40

“Okay, okay, I’m going to make a bold statement. I admit it - I’m over 50 now, yes I am. It is a hard pill to swallow. But I’m getting there and am starting to get comfortable with it. I used to hate walking down a street and getting whistles from the men around me. Now there were never hundreds, but I got my share. BUT…and again I hate to admit it but…when the whistles started disappearing and finally stopped altogether, I missed them. I missed them…I really, really missed them.”

As Today’s Inspirational Luminary (TM) on Inspire Me Today (TM), In The Trenches Productions’ own Debbie Zipp takes us — women over 40 — down the sometimes unsettling path in search of our own “inner whistle.”

A very successful and talented actress, Debbie nonetheless found opportunity fading with each new candle on her birthday cake. In fact, she wondered if she just might be fading away as well, and it was a feeling she did not enjoy, to say the least. Observing the careers of other women in the media, she came to the realization that she was in good company and far from alone. Rather than accept the fade-to-black ending, she chose, instead, to rewrite the story.

Debbie advises, “DON’T BUY INTO THE IMAGES YOU SEE IN THE MEDIA OR WHATEVER YOU THINK SOCIETY WANTS YOU TO BE ! Don’t wait for permission.” Well, she certainly didn’t!

Find out how she identified and accomplished her goals, and what she is working on today. After reading her true story of courage and determination, you will come away feeling as though you, too, are able to accomplish your dreams. On a personal note, I have identified my own inner whistle and, thanks to Debbie, am determined to make MY dreams into reality. If you are a woman over 40, I encourage you to do the same.

Visit Inspire Me Today (TM), where you can read the full text of her inspirational message, or listen to the podcast. The video portion of Debbie’s “Best of the Best Inspiration Daily” features the short film, “Believe It Baby!” In the few minutes it will take you to watch this film, you will find yourself smiling and feeling less alone. This is an empowering film for woman of all ages… and the men who love them.

Inspire Me Today (TM) was founded by Gail Lynne Goodwin, and highlights inspiration of an educational, spiritual, or motivational nature. Make it a point to browse through some of the past featured Luminaries for more tales of inspiration.

Note: Debbie Zipp is the Luminary for April 28, 2008. After this date, you can still access this page by clicking on “Luminaries” at InspireMeToday.com

Posted by Mandy Crest, Blogger for In The Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website for Women over 40!

“Living Large with Less” sounds like an ad slogan for The 99¢ Stores. It is, however, a short film produced by In The Trenches Productions and playing on their website, inthetrenchesproductions.com. This film is a satirical feel-good talk show about thrifty living for downsized workers. It’s the kind of propaganda film we could see corporations making to mollify the masses. As the middle class is financially squeezed, the media will need to promote an upbeat message that living with less can be fun, noble and even patriotic.

Why should you check out this film? To see how callous corporate America can be when it cuts labor costs.

The film centers on an incident at Northwest Airlines. As you know, when CEOs are let go, they are given huge severance packages. But when a number of Northwest Airline workers were fired and replaced with $8-an-hour employees, these fired workers were actually given a brochure called “100 Ways to Live with Less”. This brochure was their ‘golden parachute’.

A CEO can lead a company into ruin and be rewarded with a $100 million parting gift. Contrast that experience with the plight of many workers, who took pay cuts, scrambled to work longer hours and then were fired. Their parting gift for making financial sacrifices to keep the company afloat was a brochure, which seems to suggest you can live on $8 an hour with a few ‘simple’ changes in your lifestyle. Changes like - move back in with your parents, sell your car and take the bus – essentially live like you’re back in high school. And if you live frugally enough, you can re-apply for your old job at that new $8 an hour rate.

That’s right; it takes some kind of unmitigated gall to distribute a brochure that advises newly fired workers to downscale their life to the point that they shouldn’t be shy about pulling something they like out of their neighbor’s trash. Dumpster diving actually was suggestion #46 in the brochure. Yep, your former employer is giving you a send-off with the jolly suggestion to root through garbage in search of a meal or some ‘pre-owned’ outfit you might wear to your next job interview. Oh, and, good luck finding that job interview. Oh, and, be sure to hit the trash cans early, because trolling through trash is becoming highly competitive.

So, check out this film for a true “let them eat cake” moment from corporate America.

Jan Bina, Blogger for In the Trenches Productions

Guess What, Filmmakers/Distributers? 40+ers Go To Movies Too!
A wonderful documentary film opened last week…YOUNG @ HEART ‘Rock’N'Roll Will Never Die’. It follows a chorus of older singers, in their 70s, 80s and 90s, as they prepare for and give a rock concert, giving us interviews with them individually along the way. I say its wonderful…but actually I have to rely on reviewers for that info, as, even though it was loved by all, it’s only playing at two theatres in the Los Angeles area…one over an hour away from me and one 40 minutes away, so I haven’t had a chance to get to it yet. This when I am within walking distance of 30 movie screens where I live…count them, 30! (Two Cineplexes, or whatever you call them, and a mall.)
“Drillbit Taylor”…mediocre to bad reviews..is playing in several, in fact at 29 screens throughout L.A. (I counted); “Leatherheads” and “Run Fat Boy Run”, again mediocre to bad reviews…playing in several; and “Prom Night”, lampooned by all…on several of my nearby screens.
But YOUNG @ HEART ? “Irrisistable” said the L.A. Times; “Exhilerating - sends you out of the theatre transformed” said Newsweek; “Heartening and poignant - an affirmation of the transformative power of music” said USA Today; “A crowd pleasing sleeper - joyous, wrenching, intimate and hilarious” said ELLE. And last night the Ropert & Ebert tv show critics gave it a giant thumbs up, along with a clip showing an interview with a 92 year old lady telling us what this concert and music have done for her.
Oviously, however, the fact that this movie has gotton tremendous reviews matters not to the powers who pick which films to exhibit…because it’s about, God forbid, OLDER people!! Nor does it matter that older people today (I heard this on the tv news just yesterday) have 92 billion (or did they say trillion?) dollars, or that the baby boomer generation is becoming the largest contengent in America today, or that 50% of all women in the U.S. are 35 or older and control 83% of the purchasing power in America today. They can’t get beyond the “We want 18 year olds” stupidity that is no longer the only way to make moola at the movies!
I cannot believe that I am the only woman over 40 (indeed 60, in my case) who loves movies!!! So guess what, Mr/Ms Movie Exhibitor….you just might make a heck of a lot of money if you started opening your mind to really good films that WE want to see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Judith ‘Cant-Wait-To-Rock-With-Young@Heart’ Drake, Blogger for In the Trenches Productions

Let me make a confession right up front. I believe in taking pride in appearance. I never leave the house without makeup; I color my hair and take pains to style it every day. I file my nails and moisturize my skin. I shave and tweeze and primp. I like to look my best.

For many women, though, this little ritual has spiraled completely out of control in a foolish attempt to live up the standards of beauty set by… uh… set by who?

And that ‘who’ – that unknown, all-powerful ‘who’ — summarizes my problem with the whole thing.

From the fairly innocuous tanning booths and teeth whiteners, to Botox® injections, nose jobs, facelifts, tummy tucks, liposuction, and breast augmentation, perfect features and corrected, if imagined, imperfections are yours for the asking. After all, why let a little pain and a few thousand dollars stand behind you being all you can be?

Do you ever get the feeling that, somewhere, there is a giant cookie-cutter version of what woman should look like? That you better fit the mold, or else?

The enormous sum of money collectively spent by women on plastic surgery is mind-boggling. The risks of general anesthesia and surgery are well documented. Yet the drive to achieving physical perfection is strong as ever.

Thanks to… “who?”

What do women hope to achieve by kneeling before this alter of self-actualization? Perhaps self-esteem… attention… happiness… success? Dream away, gals, because the facts are that it’s not going to happen. Time and gravity serve no master. They do what they do regardless of how much you’re willing to pay to slow them down. In the end, it’s all about you. YOU — the human being who resides within that slightly-less-than-perfect body.

Surgery is a drastic measure. Absent a deformity, why would anyone risk permanent disfigurement for the sake of fitting some standard set by someone that we still can’t name? Tales of surgery gone wrong abound, ranging from the ludicrous to the tragic.

Stephanie Kuleba, an 18 year-old cheerleader, is one recent example. Young, popular and, according to reports, strikingly beautiful, she likely was the envy of her peers. Sadly, a rare reaction to anesthesia ended her life this past March during elective breast augmentation surgery.

Alas, Stephanie’s is not an isolated incident. Examples of senseless deaths and disfigurement, for the most part, have failed to make an impact on women. The lure of beauty remains too strong. Young and old alike shoulder each other for a place in line, credit cards in hand… the lure of the cookie-cutter machine and the doctors who promise miraculous results just too strong to resist.

Every morning I spend a few minutes looking at my reflection in the mirror. Sometimes I like what I see, other times perhaps not so much. At 48 years old, I think I am a rather attractive woman. In the same way one views a piece of art, I view myself from a distance, taking in the whole reflection. If I were to concentrate on nothing but the individual parts that make up the whole, I could make quite a list of the flaws. I don’t have the right nose, my breasts are not big and my thighs just aren’t what they used to be. Hollywood standards aside, I think I look pretty darned good… and, happily, my husband Jake seems to share that opinion.

I do not believe that I am alone in my resistance of the cookie cutter machine. There are others – many others – who believe as I do. We ask ourselves why other women continue to subject themselves to this torture. Is it perhaps simply peer pressure? Or do the insecurities of adolescence remain with us forever? If you recognize some of yourself in these words, perhaps you simply need to come to terms with your inner beauty.

Do our sisters do this because they feel society dictates that they should? I can’t think of a worse reason.

Do they do it for men? If so, then they only need to talk to a few men and ask what they think of this trend. Many will tell you that they are a bit baffled by it all.

One 40-something man had this to say: “I’m here to tell you that “older” women don’t need cosmetic surgery, tummy tucks, or for that matter, even Botox®. In fact, even younger women should resist such things as breast augmentation. After all, we’re talking about fake stuff, right? As a guy, if I liked fake stuff, why not go the whole route and get an entirely fake woman, ads for which can be found in Hustler Magazine. The ad’s directions say, “simply inflate.”

I think he’s got something there.

Posted by Mandy Crest, blogger for In The Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website for Women Over 40!

• “I believe that men in this country would flip out if their rights were decided by a supreme court consisting of eight woman and one man.”

• “It’s not about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself.”

This is but a small sample of the words of wisdom, grace and humor you will hear in the five-minute film, “Believe It Baby!” by In The Trenches Productions. In a few short minutes, these women — some you will recognize, some you won’t — will take you on a journey of discovery and self-awareness.

Some woman state, rather convincingly, “I believe I am beautiful,” while others hesitate before uttering those words. By the time the closing credits roll, you will find yourself smiling and agreeing, wishing you could spend some time over lunch with this group.

Women of all ages and, yes, men too, will enjoy this thought-provoking short film.

 

Visit In The Trenches Productions and click on “Believe It Baby!”

 

Mandy Crest, blogger for In the Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website Celebrating the Power and Beauty of Women Over 40

I was told in numerous e-mails that March was Women’s History Month. Well, March has now bit the dust, and I have yet to see anyone notice it. What did I miss??? Where was the huge parade? Where were the news commentators signing off with “..and a Happy Women’s History Month”? The politicians chiming in? The clever little articles in the daily paper? I have five calendars in my home, and not one of them mentions it. They do mention (along with St. Pat’s, Good Friday and Easter) Purim Good Friday, Australian Labor Day, Maha Shiwaratri (Hindu), Ostra (Pagin/Wiccan), Great Lent (Eastern Orthodox) and Adopt A Rescued Guinea Pig Month. Oh, and two of the five mention International Women’s Day (the 8th, by the way). But evidently no one cared much that March was Women’s History Month. Another feeble nod in our direction.
BUT - we at In The Trenches Productions always give a fig, as EVERY month is Women’s History Month for us…and we celebrate year round. For instance, check out our short “The Forgotten Grave”. It is the story of Sarah Edmonds , who ran away from home and an arranged marriage in Canada at the age of twenty, when the war broke out between the states. She was compelled to take on the disguise of Frank Thompson and signed on as a male nurse. She was soon asked to disguise herself as a black soldier as well as a female refugee in order to spy behind the Confederate lines. As a soldier she fought in the Battle of the Seven Days, The Battle of Antietam and the Battle of Fredericksburg. Later in life, she returned home disguised as a man and her own mother did not recognize her.

“The Forgotten Grave” is carefully crafted with compelling narration, period music and original compositions that provide a dramatic and lyric thread to the story.

There are approximately 400 documented cases of women who took up the guise of a man to fight as a male soldier in the American Civil War, but so far none of their stories, though told in books and letters has ever reached the screen, not even in the Ken Burns epic documentary “The Civil War”. These women (of all races and ages) took up the gun and the guise of a man despite the consequences, social mores and military taboos.

Yes, the world may have chosen to all but ignore Women’s History Month, but In the Trenches Productions shines the spotlight on them every hour of every day!

Judith “Shine on, baby!’ Drake, Blogger for In the Trenches Productions
The First Entertainment Website Celebrating the Power and Beauty of Women Over 40

As the economy sags, so do faces. Fault lines ripple through the economy, signaling the return of frown lines, jowls, and chicken necks. Plumped up lips are deflatimg. Frozen expressions are thawing. It’s like a facial global warming. Yes, discretionary spending is off for such fun cosmetic treatments as Botox, Juvederm, and even the more unusual treatment like anal bleaching. You may not have heard of that last one but it’s a real procedure and let’s just hope Clorox isn’t involved!

The Los Angeles Times on April 5th ran a front page story, “Cosmetic Surgery Business Sags as Purse Strings Tighten” , about the decline in optional cosmetic treatments. This IS news. It’s another sad sign of the dire economic times we’re living in. Forced to decide whether to spend $1800 for Botox injections every 6 weeks, many women are opting to let their faces go. Money that had been carefully set aside for face lifts will now be used to pay for gas and groceries. What does this mean for our society? All over Los Angeles multiple expressions will be returning to women’s faces. Women, who had seemed continuously startled, will now startle you with a whole gamut of facial expressions. The Dorian Grey effect will kick in. Overnight a lot of women will look like they’ve aged 10 years. Whole segments of the population will start to appear very, very tired. You’ll be shocked to notice that the pretty, perky neighbor, who you thought was 35, is actually pushing 50.

But here’s the bright side. California has always been a trend setting state. So, maybe all the economic bad news and subsequent losses being racked up by panicking plastic surgeons will have a positive effect. California women will start a new trend:
Kiss my wrinkles, baby, because looking old is totally radical and totally happening!

Jan Bina, blogger for In the Trenches Productions
The First Entertainment Website Celebrating the Power and Beauty of Women Over 40

Some say we live in a man’s world, but after one conversation with Marion Paul you won’t believe that for a minute. Others will smile and tell you to make lemonade of the lemons that life hurls your way. Well, Marion not only made lemons, she quite literally built, owns, and runs the lemonade stand – plus the hot dog stand, the sausage stand, and even the snowball stand. You’d know that too, if you ever spent a day at Fannie Farkle’s in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

After graduating high school, she set out to fulfill her dream in the world of professional dancing, from summer stock in Long Island, NY to working chorus lines and entertaining troops during a USO tour throughout Southeast Asia. She met Don Paul, the man she would marry, while working a burlesque show with a traveling carnival.

Don and Marion became not only husband and wife; they became partners. For twenty years they worked side-by-side. Together they opened Fannie Farkle’s and, while Don worked the traveling arcade operations, Marion ran the Gatlinburg operation. Soon they expanded their arcade businesses, opening up Walkin’ Charlie’s on the Daytona Beach boardwalk in Florida. As partnerships go, theirs worked… until 44-year old Don, piloting his small plane, crashed when a mechanic’s error caused him to lose control of the plane shortly after take-off.

Don’s death left Marion alone to mourn the loss of her husband. But life wasn’t done with Marion just yet. She had businesses with bills to pay, and her competitors were circling.

Faced with having to manage two businesses, 650 miles apart, she gathered together the employees of both locations and put the question to them directly. “Will you stay and work with me?” she asked. With a thunderous “Yes!” the die was cast. Both properties would remain open.

Once again, life was good. Marion proved to herself and to anyone who cared to watch, that she was an exceptional businesswoman. Financially secure, Marion decided that it was time to give something back to the community. Volunteering for the United Way of Sevier County, Tennessee, she met Ken Wade. Marion says that when she met Ken, something “just happened.” Something indeed, for Marion and Ken were destined to marry.

Not much later, a male colleague asked Marion if she would like to apply for a seat on the board of directors of the Amusement & Music Operators Association, the international trade association of the coin-op world. AMOA represents those who own and operate jukeboxes, pool tables, and other coin-operated games and equipment in commercial establishments worldwide. In an industry so male dominated as the coin-op industry, the AMOA board of directors might have been said to represent, at that point in time, coin-op’s glass ceiling. But that wouldn’t last for long.

Within coin-op, being chosen to serve on the AMOA board of directors is considered to be a great honor. With more than a little apprehension, she filled out that application. Five industry references were required… and it was five men who put their signatures on the line recommending Marion Paul to the AMOA.

It comes as no surprise — Marion was accepted to serve on the AMOA board. It amuses her to think back to when she and Ken attended their first AMOA board function. She recalls how one board member, an elder statesman of sorts, walked up to Ken, hand outstretched, to welcome him to the board. Ken took the man’s hand and, smiling now, moved it over to Marion’s and said, “Meet your new director.” This group of forty-eight – forty-seven of them men – understandably intimidated Marion, an only child who had attended an all-girl’s high school.

As awkward as that first introduction may have been for Marion, the time came soon enough to put away any insecurity and to, once again, put her shoulder to the grindstone and do a job. Aware that others were quietly skeptical of her, she watched and listened – and learned. Marion became convinced that this group of men would benefit from a female perspective.

Ten years later, Marion Paul became only the third woman in the organization’s 60-year history to be elected to the position of AMOA president. Since serving her term in 2004–2005, Marion has proudly watched five more women join the ranks of AMOA director. Today, whenever she attends a function as a member of the past-presidents council, there are a few more female faces in the crowd. Marion says that she “is proud of setting a standard for other women to know that it can be done… if you just set your goals high and never give up.”

“In the years since Don’s death, I have learned a great deal about going it alone in a man’s world. Yes, at times it has been quite frustrating, being challenged by men who have not been as nice as they could have… well, I just learned to put on my ‘big girl panties’ and move forward. The harder it became, the more determined I was not to give up! If I’ve learned one thing from working on the AMOA board, it is this… men have just as many insecurities as women… they just don’t talk about them.”

What does the future hold for Marion at age 61? She would like to mentor young women who are just starting out. She believes strongly in leadership by example. When asked what advice she would give young women today, Marion said, “Set your own goals… always keep them in front of you so that you can keep them in focus. NEVER compromise your ethics or integrity. Have the courage to say yes when it matters and, even more importantly, to say no when you know you should. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and reach out to mentors. That glass ceiling is getting broken through more often these days.”

And when it comes to cracking through glass ceilings, Marion Paul carries a big hammer!

Posted by Mandy Crest, blogger for In The Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website for Women Over 40!