Women Over 40 Rock!

Do you ever get up in the morning and before your feet touch the ground, or the phone has rung, or before anyone has even said a word, you know it’s going to be a bad day. That happens to me every once in awhile and I don’t know why. We all have difficulties I know. But before I even start to think about them I am feeling queasy. I understand that there maybe several explanations for this. One, there might be issues that didn’t get resolved from the day before. Two, you could have had some bad dreams and not remembered them. Three, you’re probably facing some problems that are going to have to be solved soon. Four, the list could go on and on I guess. But why today before I’ve barely opened my eyes?

Now I am not an inactive person and I have read a thing or two, so I know what to do. As I was having these shaky feelings I went over in my mind all the reasons why I am lucky. I got up and washed my face and brushed my hair. (these are two things I don’t do when I am really depressed) So I can’t be really depressed. I got my family breakfast: fresh made coffee, a very pleasant aroma in the house, cereal–but it was from the health food store which should give me a few points, and some fresh squeezed orange juice with lots of pulp, though in fact it was yesterday’s fresh squeezed from the health food store so I guess it’s a plus and a minus situation. All in all I felt that I looked half way presentable in the morning, that I served kind of a decent breakfast, and everyone left looking alright. (unless they too were hiding scary thoughts—oh I can’t go there). So why this uneasy feeling in me?

I’ve got things to do. For one, to write this blog, which I actually enjoy doing. I don’t think I worry that I really don’t write that well. After all I’m not a real professional writer. So that can’t be it. I’ve got business and personal phone calls to make. (gosh I hope I can make them feeling as I do). I know I just have to push through this melancholy. I know, just do one thing at a time, nothing too difficult so you don’t feel like you failed. I actually did go outside and smelled the roses—it helped for about a minute. What’s wrong with me. I don’t think I am a spoiled woman. I haven’t gotten some things that I dreamed about and I do have a serious health problem and yet I fully and truly know that I am a lucky person. I really mean that.

So why did I wake up this morning with this feeling? I don’t know. This is all I have come up with so far. Sometimes I am a half way person. For what ever reason on some days I just give half an effort or that’s all that’s in me to do. Maybe when I woke up this morning I knew it was a “halfy”. I didn’t have the will, the desire, or the optimum health to do a “wholey”. And maybe on some days that just has to be enough. Besides when you look at the glass and you see that it’s “half full” isn’t that a good thing? So believing that lets me rethink my thoughts and allows me to have a good day after all. This is probably only a “half way” good explanation. Any other thoughts out there? Anyone else having a “halfy” day? I could use some “whole” explanations. But a “half one” would do too.

Claire Callaway, blogger for In the Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website Celebrating the Power and Beauty of Women over 40