Get A Job Mom!
I don’t know why but it surprised me so much when my son said to me yesterday, “I think you should get a job mom”. Actually I think it hurt my feelings. It hurt because I do have a job, actually many jobs. One, I am a full time wife and mom and I am at my family’s disposal WHENEVER they need it and then some. Two, I am working with 3 other gals and we are trying to get our web site known and profitable. We are doing all the work ourselves and I truly believe it is inspiring, rewarding, informative, entertaining, and will be successful. Three, I have a profession in the arts that I keep up with but I’m over 5o so there are fewer opportunities to make money there. Four, I have always participated in my community and various causes, social as well as political. Five, I am a really good friend. Six, I have a very serious illness that does take up a lot of my time.
I could list other jobs but that’s not the point. The point is that none of these jobs make any real money. And when push comes to shove, like a bad economy, money is what matters. So when you don’t go to a regular job with regular hours and come home with regular paychecks, many people, even good people that I love, don’t really count all your efforts as valuable.
Now don’t get me wrong. I am talking about RESPECT here. If one were talking about the lack of money to pay the essential bills one would do ANYTHING to contribute and avoid ending up on the street. But it’s not that. Yes, our family could always use extra money to make our lives even better but believe me I am trying to do that. I guess sensing from my son and husband that I am not held in high esteem because I don’t make much money is upsetting.
Any one out there experiencing the same thing and how do you handle it?
Claire Callaway, blogger for IN THE TRENCHES PRODUCTIONS, The First Entertainment Website Celebrating the Power of Women Over 40.
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It must be a sign of the times because my daughter has said the same thing to me. She thinks all I do is stay on the computer 24/7 without earning any substantial income. How do I handle it? It’s tough but the one thing I want her to see is something called perseverance. I want her to understand that you just don’t give up and throw in the towel because you’re not raking in the big bucks. The $$$ will come but it doesn’t magically appear. There’s something called WORK involved. Since it’s not Corporate America where you get a steady paycheck, there will be some struggles. But I believe the greater the trials, the bigger the blessings in the long run!
I feel your pain! Having worked in my home or from my home for 39 years, I do fully understand. I have always contributed to family income, be it through professional sewing, flower arranging, selling home decorating projects, jewelry, or what have you, but becaue I don’t go to a job outside myhome every day, friends and family don’t see me as having a job. They don’t respect that.
For the past 13 years, I have been the President of a corporation that umbrellas two businesses. While keeping both of those going, I took up selling Life Insurance. I had an office outside of my home for the first time. My daughter commented to my husband that I had become a workaholic. I told them that I had always worked that hard and long hours, nobody never noticed before.
Even though I do well with my businesses and they are growing, my husband still doesn’t view it as work. I put in at least a 50-60 hour work week every week and still keep my own house, cook, do the laundry, ya da ya da. It is very discouraging and disheartening.
What keeps me going is the fact that I believe in me whether anyone else does or not, and that’s what matters.
I’ve been a self-employed artist for nearly 40 years. Though I don’t have family, I do have friends and acquaintances who do not understand the dynamics of working at home or self-employment.
There are many times I have had people phone or even stop by when I’m working simply because they know I’m home - they never stop to think about whether I’m working or not - “she’s home, she’s not doing anything!”
Most people are geared towards a 9-5, drive to work job. They are unaware of the rigors, hours and discipline required to run your own business - especially when it’s in your home. For me it’s compounded by the fact that I’m an artist - most people consider creative pursuits play not work! They are misinformed.
Only those with the passion, drive, determination, willingness to work the 100 hour weeks and courage to take the risks will succeed in a home-based business. Those who have never tried can’t even begin to understand what’s required.
As for not receiving a paycheck - that’s a whole other kettle of fish and the lack of understanding on that issue spreads out from family and friends to financial institutions and most of the “corporate” mind set!
Until the people who are screaming “get a REAL job” have walked in your shoes (doubtful) you will deal with this issue. There is no real sympathy without true understanding.
I’ve finally given up trying to impress upon these nine-to-fivers just exactly what I do and how long it takes to do it. And I’ve learned to not answer my phone unless it’s a business call. I have even put up signs on my studio and my home that say “do not disturb me while I’m creating”. I gave up politeness many decades ago because it didn’t work!
I currently live in both worlds. I work a regular job and write and speak on the side. I can tell you the latter is much harder. It takes a special person to pursue a passion that makes great demands, but offers little reward (”little” monetary reward that is). I say way to go to all of us. What we do is important. It would be nice if others knew it; but the fact that we know it matters more.
There’s a new film “Who does she think she is?” that I believe affirms all of us women artists: check it out: http://www.whodoesshethinksheis.net/ I can’t wait to see it, just as soon as it gets to my part of the world.
There’s a new film “Who does she think she is?” that I believe affirms all of us women artists. Check it out! http://www.whodoesshethinksheis.net/
I can’t wait for it to reach my part of the world.