Archive for the 'Opinion' Category

“Not Very Many Ms Film Critics”

This headline on a small blurb in the “Quick Take” section in the other days’ LA. Times caught my eye. Lee Margulies was quoting Martha M. Lauzen, the executive director of the Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film at San Diego State U. She had just issued a study that found that women are (can you believe it??) underemployed as movie reviewers at our 100 largest newspapers. - The occasion for bringing this to our attention was the ‘revamping’ of the TV reviewing show Roeper & Ebert (or Roeper and the various critics taking Eberts’ place the last few years). Revamping meaning that the two middle-aged men will be replaced by two younger men, i.e. no women.
So not only are most of our films mainly peopled with male actors, they are also mostly directed by men, and yes, reviewed by them as well. As Ms. Lauzen is quoted as saying, “The underemployment of women film reviewers, actors and filmmakers perpetuates the nearly seamless dialogue among men in U.S. cinema.”
So what else is new? I know, I know, we women (especially those of us ‘in the biz’) have known this for ages, but it still gets my dander up! Women make lots of money, spend lots of money, and yes, actually do go to the movies. But why on earth would that sway any of the movie moguls? Even though almost every time a movie starring women (especially ones with women over 40, like “Mamma Mia”), with themes that would interest women opens it make oodles and oodles of money. I guess the men running the film biz are just like most of the other men I’ve ever known…too myopic to notice that when women are involved, whether writing, directing, speaking out politically or simply working in their neighborhoods, a new, exciting and refreshing breeze comes thru, and there are millions of us out here who are ready to feel it.
Hopefully, even though under represented in all things film, we women will continue to support the few women filmmakers out there, be they actors, writers, producers or directors, and continue to speak out as well, in the ever lingering hope that we, and they, will eventually began to be noticed and supported, and that the female ranks in the film world will grow ever bigger. Here’s to us!
Judith women-filmmakers-rock Drake, blogger for In the Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website for Women Over 40

Published in: Opinion | on August 14th, 2008 | 2 Comments »

The G-SPOT Search

I recently read the article “Stumbing on the Path to G-Spot Utopia” in the Los Angeles Times that not every woman has a G-Spot. Can that be right? After all that has been written about this famous location and all the worry that went into trying to make it perform well, that it could be nonexistent just doesn’t seem possible. I realize that things work in cycles and that what is true at one time may prove not to be true later only to be proven true again later on. I suppose that is what will happen with the G-Spot as well. I just don’t know if I can wait that long. I don’t know if I can take the insecurity of it all. Just what if it IS true and that all women don’t have this desirable SPOT. The newspaper article did say how you could try to see if you actually had the physical properties that meant that you indeed had one but it involved mirrors and positions that seemed somewhat uncomfortable to me. What if I went through all that and still wasn’t sure if I had one, as I had never seen one before. Plus the description in the paper made it sound like they all have slight differences.

What the hell am I exactly looking for anyway? Could the G-Spot just be a place in your mind and the more active and creative your mind the more excitement for everyone? What was I to do? I definitely didn’t want to spend any more time on this as I had done enough thinking about this in the past. I just don’t have the energy for the G-Spot search right now.

Here is what I came up with and I would love to know what you think about my solution. I AM JUST GOING TO “ACT AS IF” I HAVE A G-SPOT WHETHER I HAVE ONE OR NOT. And that is it. I am going to “ACT AS IF” the elusive G-Spot is there and working properly. I am not going to follow the story in the paper and buy into all its ramifications and everyone’s thoughts and opinions about it. That will just take up so much time and most likely make me unhappy. So for anyone who is interested I have a beautiful and well functioning G-Spot (Now keeping it activated could be a problem but that is for another blog).

Claire Callaway, blogger for In the Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website Celebrating the Power and Beauty of Women Over 40

Published in: Life, Opinion | on August 4th, 2008 | No Comments »

What Do You Do When The Doctors Can’t Figure It Out?

What do you do when you’ve lost it? What do you do when you think you can’t take it anymore? What do you do when you feel trapped or that you want to crawl out of your skin and transport yourself somewhere else, like a beach in Mexico with a double salt Margarita. What do you do when you have lost all your reason and focus and you don’t know what the next step is. You just can’t seem to get a grip to see through the fog in front of you so you know where you are going and why. Why am I taking this step in this direction when maybe it should be that other step. Your head is spinning, spinning out of control. What do you do when you feel like screaming forever from the tip of your pedicure needy toenails, through your worn out body and out your mouth to the heavens above. How do you relieve the pain when you do not drink, smoke, do drugs or drink coffee and the one bad habit of eating chocolate isn’t enough?

YOU GO BUY A SOFA!

Sound crazy? I totally agree. I thought of my partner, Claire Callaway’s blog about THERAPY SHOPPING and it sounds all too familiar. Well I could certainly use a dose of therapy shopping today. I love running to a thrift shop or Target or TJ Max and finding a wonderful treasure for $5 or $10. It is mostly just putting my mind somewhere else that helps. But today is different. Today is off the charts stress. This is mother load stress and I want to buy a SOFA! Yes you heard me. I have the desperate unrelenting urge to buy a sofa. It just popped into my head. I just want to hop in the car and buy a SOFA. Irrational?! Insane? Yes! BUT the stress of today and the last year has been insane.

My son has been very sick for the last year and a half. I actually have a lot of days like this. But it is nothing compared to my son’s suffering. And I get mad at myself for wanting to escape and buy a stupid sofa when he can’t escape. I can escape my surroundings but he can’t escape the body that has turned on him and also won’t allow him to get up and out to enjoy life again. I won’t go into specific details but it has been a horribly long, complex and winding journey of this “YET TO BE DIAGNOSED ILLNESS” and how it is has continued to spiral out of control and affect other parts of his body while they do the myriad of tests without finding definitive specific reason for the progression and evolution of this illness. Watching my son suffer the way he has and knowing all that he has lost (missing his senior year, missing prom, loosing friends) and feeling so helpless is enough to drive any mom around the bend. You never think your child will have a serious illness. You hope and pray everyday that will never happen. But if it happens and the doctors can’t figure it out and cannot diagnose the problem for almost year and a half of trying- what do you do? Well…you buy a sofa! And I’ll say the doctors made me do it.

There are 3 doctors’ faces that my son and I have come to dread. You too may have seen these faces. But if you haven’t, trust me these faces are bad enough to make you want to buy a sofa.

  • Number 1: the look on their face when they don’t have a clue what the hell is going on and are lost as to how to move forward.
  • Number 2: The look on their face when they want you to disappear because you are just a reminder of their failure and their ego can’t deal with it.
  • Number 3: The look that you are a bossy over reacting hysterical mom / woman. It is the look of mommyism and sexism.

The worst grievance of all and the most stress inducing is the lack of caring. The down right cavalier perhaps unintentional “your son’s suffering is not a priority” attitude that you deal with day in and day out especially when you can’t reach a doctor or a nurse. When they take their bloody time calling you back, despite how many desperate messages you’ve left, it doesn’t seem to matter that you are waiting by the phone and rescheduling things so you don’t miss that call and the stress that causes. They don’t seem to realize what the consequence is to their patient when it takes 5 to 10 days to return a call or give a test result. The consequence is that the doctor who is supposed to be helping relieve the patients suffering ends up causing more suffering to that patient and the mom (caregiver) ends up with all the nerve endings in her entire body fried like a MacDonald’s Filet of Fish. And then when they do call you back they of course are bothered by having to do so and have too little time to talk so you panic and lose your train of thought, forget the list of questions and points you wanted to make and you are left dangling with a horrible sense of incompetency for having blown this incredibly important opportunity that you could wait another 3 weeks for.

Of course there have been some good medical personnel along the way but today I am not thinking of them. I am thinking of my son and all he has been through and how brave he has been. I am thinking of yet another incident with a doctor that ruined the day. That made us all feel so unimportant. And all I can think of is that darn new sofa I want to run out and buy and have delivered this very day even if I have to strap it to the top of my little Honda Fit. There is no good reason I can think of to buy a sofa. I don’t even need a new sofa. I guess it is just the kind of stressful day where nothing but a big-ticket item will do.

However, since writing this blog the urge has gone. Let’s call it “therapy writing” instead of “therapy shopping”. I will call my mom or one of my dear friends instead and bend their ear a while. I will give my son another hug or maybe hundreds. I will kiss my precious doggies on the tops of their heads and give them a doggie cookie and I will feel clearer and more hopeful again. I will probably eat some chocolate and then I will fight to gain my focus and my strength back so I can forge ahead to MAKE the doctors care more deeply about solving the mystery of this illness so my son will be cured sooner rather than later. That is what moms do. And I will do it all without rushing out to buy a brand new sofa. Hopefully.

Debbie Zipp, blogger for IN THE TRENCHES PRODUCTIONS, The First Entertainment Website Celebrating the Power and Beauty of Women Over 40

Published in: Life, Opinion | on July 25th, 2008 | 6 Comments »

THAT OLD TIME SEXISM

Many of us are having a hard time recovering from the fact that we won’t have a female president in 2009. So, I think it is good to reflect on how far we’ve come. Let’s look back to 1943 - when your mother or grandmother might have worked for the first time at a job outside of her home. During WWII, women entered the workplace in droves, and special guidelines were written for male supervisors. My sister emailed an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of “Transportation Magazine” which spells out tips for male supervisors to help them get the most productivity from female employees. Some of the tips are quaint, some laughable but all reflect the paternalism of the time. And as my husband commented, these tips sound more like they’re dealing with a pack of dogs rather than a group of women.

“Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it. They have the pep and interest to work hard.” In other words, you’ll get more out of peppy married women, who need a job. And let’s face it; single girls are more interested in finding a sailor, chewing gum and listening to Frank Sinatra than learning anything about rivets.

“When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy.” Cantankerous and fussy?! Darn right that’s how you’d feel because your superiors preferred a young, pretty woman and had to settle for the likes of you. It’s in the phrase, “if you have to use older women.”

“General experience indicates the ‘husky’ girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.” The dog analogy hits home – those huskies are better workers than the high strung skinny runts.

“Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects against possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has a female weakness which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.” A “special” exam? What exactly does that mean? What about the female condition would make you mentally unfit? Cramps? Fits of the vapors? I’m surprised a fainting couch isn’t suggested as part of the décor.

“Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them but lack initiative in finding work themselves.” Lack of initiative?! Most households in the ‘40’s were run by women who had the work ethic of successful managers. No one gave mothers of that era a master plan for running their households and yet most ran like smooth machines. At my house, every night a home-cooked dinner, including a dessert, was ready at 5:30. Toni Home Permanents happened every 6 months, uniform blouses were ironed everyday, furniture and floors were always spotless, and hands were never idle. My mother, like most women of that generation, had plenty of initiative but the work of housewives was truly under-valued.

“Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.” Yep, there’s nothing like a fresh coat of lipstick to keep you going. Notice when talking about rest and lipstick the workers are called girls.

“Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman – it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.” Implied is that you can’t get much work out of someone who is whimpering or sulking all day. But it’s okay to ridicule a man because they’re tough and they can take it. Plus men don’t have feelings. Yeah, right.

“Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.” Actually this tip was probably excellent advice. My mother at 92 might have said damn 3 or 4 times in her life. After uttering such a terrible word she’d turn bright red and then break into a fit of giggles.

“Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stress too much in keeping women happy.” Oh yeah, nothing makes a girl (or her boss!) happier than a nice form-fitting uniform.

Yes, there’s a lot of work yet to be done. But to go from these attitudes a mere 65 years ago to having a woman as a serious contender for President, says to me we have a lot to be proud of.

Jan Bina, blogger for In the Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website Celebrating the Power and the Beauty of Women Over 40

Published in: Opinion | on June 21st, 2008 | No Comments »

OK, I’M PUTTING HILLARY TO REST———for now.

It’s over, I’m a realist and I get it that Hillary will not be the democratic nominee. I’m the gal that not too long ago did the blog SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME LET GO OF HILLARY CLINTON!!!!!!!!!!!! I appreciate so much the responses I received, thank you.

This may be a bit odd but I have decided to answer my own blog. Now normally “The Women Over 40 Rock” blog from In the Trenches Productions isn’t a political site but since it wants women over 40 to succeed in their endeavors, I thought this could be a slight exception. After all Hillary is a woman, she is over 40, and she is truly succeeding in her endeavors.

To answer my own blog, it’s simply this—SHE DID NOT GIVE UP EVEN WHEN THE OBSTACLES WERE GREAT, UNTIL THERE WAS NO OTHER RESPONSIBLE OPTION. To be political for just a moment, I was upset in 2000 when Al Gore, and some of his advisors, didn’t fight until the very end in Florida. (check out HBO’s RECOUNT if you haven’t already done so). Then there was John Kerry giving up too early in Ohio in 2004 when there were so many irregularities in the voting there that were being reported. (and which since have been proven to be true and would have changed the course of history). These are examples of quitting too soon. I believe that for the most part women just try harder, they have too. Women have to fight hard when they are told they can’t get the job they want, the health care they need, the lifestyle they desire, or what is best for their child. (does anyone fight harder than a Mother to get what is necessary for her child when it has been denied? I don’t think so).

So, right or wrong, I loved her spunk. I loved Hillary’s will to fight on,against all odds, to get what she wanted. That’s what we all need to do—in big things and little things. Us gals can’t give up just because what we want is hard or that we have been told that we can’t have it. I know this isn’t easy and I myself am rarely successful but Hillary has been a good example for me, and I hope for you too. So, LET US ALL FIGHT ON!!!!!!!!!

Claire Callaway, blogger for In the Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website that celebrates the power and beauty of women over 40.

Published in: Opinion | on June 16th, 2008 | 1 Comment »

Sexism - One Big Joke

Sexism. Oh yeah, it’s alive and brought to you this primary season by cable news and their staff of commentator/comedians. We’ve witnessed sexism as one big joke brought to you by the good ole boys club. It’s in Tucker Carlson’s remark about Hillary on MSNBC, “When she comes on TV, I involuntarily cross my legs.” Really hilarious, Tucker. It’s Chris Matthews chuckling as he wondered whether Nancy Pelosi will castrate Democratic Majority Leader, Steny Hoyer. It’s Fox News’ Marc Rudov’s comment, “When Hillary Clinton speaks, men hear ‘take out the garbage’.” Oh yeah, that’s a side-splitter. There was Chris Matthews on MSNBC teasingly calling Hillary a “she-devil”. On-screen a picture appeared of Hillary sprouting horns. Kind of sophomoric, wouldn’t you say?! Or the all male panel on Morning Joe laughing as MSNBC’s Mike Barnicle described Hillary as “looking like everyone’s first wife standing outside a probate court”. And Chris Matthews (again) suggesting that Clinton is not “a convincing mom” and said “modern women” like Clinton are unacceptable to “Midwest guys.” It was the Hillary nut cracker; the iron my shirts signs and the casual use of the ‘b’ word. At times it felt like we were back in the’60’s, certainly not the ‘70’s when no one dared to utter the “b” word in public commentary. It seems that we’ve gone backwards.
Turning sexist comments into “a joke” has allowed men to get away with this brand of humor. It’s harder to combat because the put-downs are said as a tease. It’s just the guys having a little fun. Not only is it tough to combat the on-air boys’ club but it’s tough to deal with sexism in the work place. The ‘b’ word and the hated ‘c’ word have openly invaded the work place and good luck making a complaint. Object to a sexist comment and you’re made fun of or you get the eye-roll, implying you’re one of those strident, feminist party-poopers. If you can’t take the comment, then maybe you shouldn’t try to play with the big boys. If you can’t take the comment maybe you can’t handle the rough banter of the locker room. You’re a whinny woman who can’t laugh at herself and take a little joke. You don’t ‘get’ the art of the male put down and, finally, you’re too humorless to play with the big boys. But really what it’s saying to women is – we don’t respect you and we don’t want you here.
What surprised me about the rabid personal attacks on Hillary was the lack of outcry from other women politicians and from the Democratic Party. But the good news is that her campaign has re-united women. The Women’s Media Center has put together a video “Sexism Sells, But We’re Not Buying.” They are also aggressively working to stamp out sexism in the media. In a New York Times article “Media Charged with Sexism in Clinton Coverage” I learned that The National Organization for Women and Emily’s list “are generating e-mail campaigns to the cable channels when they see sexism.”
So, while we won’t have a woman president in 2009, Hillary’s campaign has brought women together. In her moving speech suspending her campaign, Hillary said, “Although we weren’t able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it’s got about eighteen million cracks in it. And the light is shining through like never before, filling us all with the hope and the sure knowledge that the path will be a little easier next time. That has always been the history of progress in America.” What we’ve learned from Hillary’s campaign is that there remains a lot of work to do regarding women’s issues. And that includes making our sons feel confident about themselves so they don’t have to participate in female put downs like the insecure cable news commentator/comedians.

Jan Bina, blogger for In the Trenches Productions Website, the first entertainment website that celebrates the power and beauty of women over 40.

Published in: Opinion | on June 13th, 2008 | 1 Comment »

Women Over 40: Still Rockin’

“I write for a blog titled ‘Women Over 40 Rock!’” Whenever I say those words I force myself to stay quiet and observe the listener’s reaction. Invariably I get a look showing a lack of appreciation and am told that it sounds like it MUST be one of those anti-male, “feminazi” sites where bitter women do little more than complain about their lives and about men.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

“Women Over 40 Rock!” is a name that should be taken at face-value. It is the essence of our mission statement: to celebrate the power and the beauty of women over the age of 40. Women who, once youth begins to fade, have traditionally faded from the forefront of society along with it. Here, we women over 40 believe that our time is now.

You’ll be hard-pressed to find anti-male sentiment in our posts. We love men – really. It’s simply not necessary for us to criticize others in order to make ourselves feel superior. Here, throughout our posts, you will read stories of inspiration and of personal reflection. Visit our In The Trenches Productions website and watch a short but empowering video titled “Believe It Baby!” and we guarantee that you will come away with new insight… and perhaps even a smile.

In The Trenches Productions is a group of female writers, producers, and actresses whose mission is to ensure that mature women maintain their earned place in the media spotlight. These ladies learned the hard way that women in Hollywood, upon reaching the age of 40 or so, are quickly ignored and discarded like yesterday’s news. Troubled by the scarcity of older women in television and movies, they formed In The Trenches Productions and set out, together, to make things right. Throughout our blog, we strive to bring this, and other related issues, out and into the open.

Take, for example, Debbie Zipp’s recent post that addresses the wave of reviewers and commentators actively discouraging men from attending the new movie, “Sex and the City.” Why? Because it’s not a ‘guy thing to do.’ Guys are told that they don’t want to be seen at THIS movie! Films made for, and about, women are branded as “chick flicks” and are often reviewed with that same negative spin. Exactly why a movie such as this, which features four confident, passionate, determined women, should be considered negative is something that I am at a loss to understand. Here, unlike much of the mainstream press, we choose to take a more positive view of women in media.

It’s said that knowledge is power. Know this then – by the year 2010, women between the ages of 40 and 64 will be the largest age group in the United States, as well as at the height of their earning power. Women like us make up a sizable demographic and have the economic strength to make advertisers sit up and take notice. Our time IS now.

We dream of the day when the world will be able to routinely see mature, multi-faceted women portrayed on television and in the movies – in titles of every genre. We support – and encourage you to support — those productions that carry on our mission.

Quite simply, it’s important.

“Don’t stop dreaming. Dreams are essential to living.” — Debbie Zipp

Posted by Mandy Crest, blogger for In The Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website for Women Over 40!

Published in: Opinion | on June 2nd, 2008 | 3 Comments »

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME LET GO OF HILLARY CLINTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all let me say that I like Barack Obama and that I am an older white woman. In fact I admire him though my first choice for the democratic nominee was John Edwards. I actively worked for John and contributed financially to his campaign. When he left the race I was devastated. For weeks I followed the campaigning and primaries of Obama and Clinton trying to decide who next to support as both claimed to have a sincere interest in giving the middle class the attention that it deserves which is so important to me. Plus it is very important to pick the candidate that has the best chance of winning the presidency in the fall. Everything would suggest that the obvious choice would be Obama. He is new and has a different approach to politics. He is inspiring, bright, inventive, courageous and I agree with almost everything he says. Plus he always seems to take the high road in political issues.

I have always liked Hillary Clinton as well. It is true that she has voted for or been associated with several concerns that I have not agreed with and of late her actions aren’t always admirable which gives her the appearance of wanting to win at all cost. But there is something about her that I can’t let go of. I believe that she REALLY believes that she is the best candidate and that she has the best chance of beating John McCain. I also believe that she believes in most of what she is saying and that she will try and follow through on those beliefs.

As of today it seems inevitable that Barrock Obama will be the Democratic Presidential Nominee. Super delegates, newspaper editorials, TV commentaries, and most of my friends have jumped aboard the Obama Express. Why can’t I ? It can’t be just because I am a woman. But as more things seem to go wrong for Hillary the stronger my allegiance grows for her. Why? It doesn’t make sense. It can’t be that I feel sorry for the underdog can it? Both of the candidates are historic nominations. Both candidates have practically the same view as I do on most issues. I like both of them.

After weeks of reading the newspapers and listening to political programs on radio and TV, I find myself shunning them all because they are all now, justly or unjustly, so negative about Hillary and I don’t like hearing it. I know I am not one of those women who like Hillary no matter what she does, that’s not me. For weeks now I have been searching for why this loyalty of mine exists for this person.. It’s almost like I am digging my feet in the sand over it.

Any thoughts, suggestions, or help with this dilemma?

Claire Callaway, blogger for In the Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website Celebrating the Power of Women Over 40.

Published in: Opinion | on May 28th, 2008 | 5 Comments »

Aging in ‘Hollywood Years’

Our production company, In The Trenches Productions, is dedicated to creating and supporting films with female characters over 40. But after reading the May 14, Los Angeles Times article by Rachel Abramowitz, “Even the ‘It” Girls Hit a Glass Ceiling,” I have to wonder - should our company reach out to include actresses who are 35? Is 35 the new 50? Ms. Abramowitz cites evidence that the career death knell is hitting actresses as young as 35. In her article she cites that, “Oscar winner Gwyneth Paltrow is relegated to a little-played second fiddle in ‘Iron-Man’.” In the romantic comedy “What Happens in Vegas”, comparing Ashton Kutcher to Cameron Diaz, it’s noted that, “..she gets to be a shrew which is inherently more unlikable.” Uh-oh, shrews are standard fare for older actresses.
The realization that a woman has a much shorter career than a man will influence career decisions for young actresses. Just the other day a friend of mine told me that her daughter had dropped out of high school to pursue her acting career. The thinking was that you can never recapture your youth but you can always go back to school. Unfortunately, that thinking may be right. In today’s climate, a young film actress can look forward to about a 10 year career.
So, in order to plan a career, a woman needs a more accurate way of calibrating her age in Hollywood years. When a woman is 18, her biological years and Hollywood years are in sync. But as she grows old the disparity between the 2 rapidly grows. So, that by the time an actress celebrates her 35 birthday, she’s actually 50 in Hollywood years. Knowing your Hollywood age, not only helps in planning but also in expectations. I’m an actress over 60, so that means in Hollywood years I’m well over 100. Well, for goodness sakes, no wonder I’m not working.
Jan Bina, blogger for In the Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Entertainment Network for Women Over 40

Published in: Opinion | on May 19th, 2008 | No Comments »

CONTEMPLATIONS ON GETTING OLDER

There are a few good things about getting older….some movie tickets are cheaper, some restaurants give discounts, my Y charges us oldies-but-goodies a little less monthly, and some travel modes take a little off.
But then there’s the other side….
A friend I’ve know since college is in the hospital with progressive lung disease…he probably won’t be going home again. Another friend was rescued from his apt. in NY by firemen….doesn’t know what happened, as he was unconscious when they found him…probably something he left on the stove, though. I just heard from another friend that her father committed suicide on Xmas Day, so she’s taking care of her mom now. And the number of friends and relatives with medical problems is too high to count. Suffice it to say I no longer look forward to Xmas cards from friends I’m only in touch with then…their cards are usually full of not-so-delightful news.
BUT just as I was beginning to get bogged down with all this, I got a call from an 84 year old friend…would I join her and her husband in a visit to the annual L.A. Book Festival at UCLA? And I did. 91 degrees, thousands of people, too many book kiosks and programs to count…and these friends in their 80s spent all day there having a ball! - Then I go to my water aerobic class at the Y, and there we are singing Happy Birthday to one of our class members who just hit 88…lives alone, drives, does countless hours of charity work - and we talk about our other class member who recently turned 100 and only now has finally agreed to move in with her daughter. Then I think of my 83 year old friend living alone and still driving to auditions all over the place (well, at least as often as people in the biz come to their senses and write parts for 83 yr olds); my 67 yr. old artist friend in OK who is building a studio in her backyard…by herself; my 70 yr. old friend in NY whose wish it is to visit every country…and she’s well on her way to fulfilling it; and friends in their 60s on both coasts who will be doing the AIDS Walks this year, as they have for the last ten.
So I guess all is not lost as one reaches retirement age after all….there are more than enough of us around, and ever-so-active, to prove it! - So why is it that I don’t see all these active friends of mine - or indeed, myself - represented in tv shows and movies which they want us to believe are about real people??? Oh they represent my friends in medical trouble, but not the vast majority of us who are still out here saying there are never enough hours in the day for us! We are a huge percentage of the citizens of this country, and yet you’d never know it by watching our media. Shame on them! And shame on us for putting up with it! Go to your computer right now, or pick up your pen, and email or write the tv stations and production companies and your local newspapers and say what the heck is wrong with the media??? We are here! We contribute to society! We make a difference! And we’re damn tired of being ignored!!!!
Judith Can-You-Hear-Me-Now? Drake, blogger for In the Trenches Productions / The First Entertainment Website for Women Over 40

Published in: Opinion | on April 30th, 2008 | 2 Comments »