Women Over 40 Rock!

First of all let me say that I like Barack Obama and that I am an older white woman. In fact I admire him though my first choice for the democratic nominee was John Edwards. I actively worked for John and contributed financially to his campaign. When he left the race I was devastated. For weeks I followed the campaigning and primaries of Obama and Clinton trying to decide who next to support as both claimed to have a sincere interest in giving the middle class the attention that it deserves which is so important to me. Plus it is very important to pick the candidate that has the best chance of winning the presidency in the fall. Everything would suggest that the obvious choice would be Obama. He is new and has a different approach to politics. He is inspiring, bright, inventive, courageous and I agree with almost everything he says. Plus he always seems to take the high road in political issues.

I have always liked Hillary Clinton as well. It is true that she has voted for or been associated with several concerns that I have not agreed with and of late her actions aren’t always admirable which gives her the appearance of wanting to win at all cost. But there is something about her that I can’t let go of. I believe that she REALLY believes that she is the best candidate and that she has the best chance of beating John McCain. I also believe that she believes in most of what she is saying and that she will try and follow through on those beliefs.

As of today it seems inevitable that Barrock Obama will be the Democratic Presidential Nominee. Super delegates, newspaper editorials, TV commentaries, and most of my friends have jumped aboard the Obama Express. Why can’t I ? It can’t be just because I am a woman. But as more things seem to go wrong for Hillary the stronger my allegiance grows for her. Why? It doesn’t make sense. It can’t be that I feel sorry for the underdog can it? Both of the candidates are historic nominations. Both candidates have practically the same view as I do on most issues. I like both of them.

After weeks of reading the newspapers and listening to political programs on radio and TV, I find myself shunning them all because they are all now, justly or unjustly, so negative about Hillary and I don’t like hearing it. I know I am not one of those women who like Hillary no matter what she does, that’s not me. For weeks now I have been searching for why this loyalty of mine exists for this person.. It’s almost like I am digging my feet in the sand over it.

Any thoughts, suggestions, or help with this dilemma?

Claire Callaway, blogger for In the Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website Celebrating the Power of Women Over 40.

Our production company, In The Trenches Productions, is dedicated to creating and supporting films with female characters over 40. But after reading the May 14, Los Angeles Times article by Rachel Abramowitz, “Even the ‘It” Girls Hit a Glass Ceiling,” I have to wonder - should our company reach out to include actresses who are 35? Is 35 the new 50? Ms. Abramowitz cites evidence that the career death knell is hitting actresses as young as 35. In her article she cites that, “Oscar winner Gwyneth Paltrow is relegated to a little-played second fiddle in ‘Iron-Man’.” In the romantic comedy “What Happens in Vegas”, comparing Ashton Kutcher to Cameron Diaz, it’s noted that, “..she gets to be a shrew which is inherently more unlikable.” Uh-oh, shrews are standard fare for older actresses.
The realization that a woman has a much shorter career than a man will influence career decisions for young actresses. Just the other day a friend of mine told me that her daughter had dropped out of high school to pursue her acting career. The thinking was that you can never recapture your youth but you can always go back to school. Unfortunately, that thinking may be right. In today’s climate, a young film actress can look forward to about a 10 year career.
So, in order to plan a career, a woman needs a more accurate way of calibrating her age in Hollywood years. When a woman is 18, her biological years and Hollywood years are in sync. But as she grows old the disparity between the 2 rapidly grows. So, that by the time an actress celebrates her 35 birthday, she’s actually 50 in Hollywood years. Knowing your Hollywood age, not only helps in planning but also in expectations. I’m an actress over 60, so that means in Hollywood years I’m well over 100. Well, for goodness sakes, no wonder I’m not working.
Jan Bina, blogger for In the Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Entertainment Network for Women Over 40

There are a few good things about getting older….some movie tickets are cheaper, some restaurants give discounts, my Y charges us oldies-but-goodies a little less monthly, and some travel modes take a little off.
But then there’s the other side….
A friend I’ve know since college is in the hospital with progressive lung disease…he probably won’t be going home again. Another friend was rescued from his apt. in NY by firemen….doesn’t know what happened, as he was unconscious when they found him…probably something he left on the stove, though. I just heard from another friend that her father committed suicide on Xmas Day, so she’s taking care of her mom now. And the number of friends and relatives with medical problems is too high to count. Suffice it to say I no longer look forward to Xmas cards from friends I’m only in touch with then…their cards are usually full of not-so-delightful news.
BUT just as I was beginning to get bogged down with all this, I got a call from an 84 year old friend…would I join her and her husband in a visit to the annual L.A. Book Festival at UCLA? And I did. 91 degrees, thousands of people, too many book kiosks and programs to count…and these friends in their 80s spent all day there having a ball! - Then I go to my water aerobic class at the Y, and there we are singing Happy Birthday to one of our class members who just hit 88…lives alone, drives, does countless hours of charity work - and we talk about our other class member who recently turned 100 and only now has finally agreed to move in with her daughter. Then I think of my 83 year old friend living alone and still driving to auditions all over the place (well, at least as often as people in the biz come to their senses and write parts for 83 yr olds); my 67 yr. old artist friend in OK who is building a studio in her backyard…by herself; my 70 yr. old friend in NY whose wish it is to visit every country…and she’s well on her way to fulfilling it; and friends in their 60s on both coasts who will be doing the AIDS Walks this year, as they have for the last ten.
So I guess all is not lost as one reaches retirement age after all….there are more than enough of us around, and ever-so-active, to prove it! - So why is it that I don’t see all these active friends of mine - or indeed, myself - represented in tv shows and movies which they want us to believe are about real people??? Oh they represent my friends in medical trouble, but not the vast majority of us who are still out here saying there are never enough hours in the day for us! We are a huge percentage of the citizens of this country, and yet you’d never know it by watching our media. Shame on them! And shame on us for putting up with it! Go to your computer right now, or pick up your pen, and email or write the tv stations and production companies and your local newspapers and say what the heck is wrong with the media??? We are here! We contribute to society! We make a difference! And we’re damn tired of being ignored!!!!
Judith Can-You-Hear-Me-Now? Drake, blogger for In the Trenches Productions / The First Entertainment Website for Women Over 40

Let me make a confession right up front. I believe in taking pride in appearance. I never leave the house without makeup; I color my hair and take pains to style it every day. I file my nails and moisturize my skin. I shave and tweeze and primp. I like to look my best.

For many women, though, this little ritual has spiraled completely out of control in a foolish attempt to live up the standards of beauty set by… uh… set by who?

And that ‘who’ – that unknown, all-powerful ‘who’ — summarizes my problem with the whole thing.

From the fairly innocuous tanning booths and teeth whiteners, to Botox® injections, nose jobs, facelifts, tummy tucks, liposuction, and breast augmentation, perfect features and corrected, if imagined, imperfections are yours for the asking. After all, why let a little pain and a few thousand dollars stand behind you being all you can be?

Do you ever get the feeling that, somewhere, there is a giant cookie-cutter version of what woman should look like? That you better fit the mold, or else?

The enormous sum of money collectively spent by women on plastic surgery is mind-boggling. The risks of general anesthesia and surgery are well documented. Yet the drive to achieving physical perfection is strong as ever.

Thanks to… “who?”

What do women hope to achieve by kneeling before this alter of self-actualization? Perhaps self-esteem… attention… happiness… success? Dream away, gals, because the facts are that it’s not going to happen. Time and gravity serve no master. They do what they do regardless of how much you’re willing to pay to slow them down. In the end, it’s all about you. YOU — the human being who resides within that slightly-less-than-perfect body.

Surgery is a drastic measure. Absent a deformity, why would anyone risk permanent disfigurement for the sake of fitting some standard set by someone that we still can’t name? Tales of surgery gone wrong abound, ranging from the ludicrous to the tragic.

Stephanie Kuleba, an 18 year-old cheerleader, is one recent example. Young, popular and, according to reports, strikingly beautiful, she likely was the envy of her peers. Sadly, a rare reaction to anesthesia ended her life this past March during elective breast augmentation surgery.

Alas, Stephanie’s is not an isolated incident. Examples of senseless deaths and disfigurement, for the most part, have failed to make an impact on women. The lure of beauty remains too strong. Young and old alike shoulder each other for a place in line, credit cards in hand… the lure of the cookie-cutter machine and the doctors who promise miraculous results just too strong to resist.

Every morning I spend a few minutes looking at my reflection in the mirror. Sometimes I like what I see, other times perhaps not so much. At 48 years old, I think I am a rather attractive woman. In the same way one views a piece of art, I view myself from a distance, taking in the whole reflection. If I were to concentrate on nothing but the individual parts that make up the whole, I could make quite a list of the flaws. I don’t have the right nose, my breasts are not big and my thighs just aren’t what they used to be. Hollywood standards aside, I think I look pretty darned good… and, happily, my husband Jake seems to share that opinion.

I do not believe that I am alone in my resistance of the cookie cutter machine. There are others – many others – who believe as I do. We ask ourselves why other women continue to subject themselves to this torture. Is it perhaps simply peer pressure? Or do the insecurities of adolescence remain with us forever? If you recognize some of yourself in these words, perhaps you simply need to come to terms with your inner beauty.

Do our sisters do this because they feel society dictates that they should? I can’t think of a worse reason.

Do they do it for men? If so, then they only need to talk to a few men and ask what they think of this trend. Many will tell you that they are a bit baffled by it all.

One 40-something man had this to say: “I’m here to tell you that “older” women don’t need cosmetic surgery, tummy tucks, or for that matter, even Botox®. In fact, even younger women should resist such things as breast augmentation. After all, we’re talking about fake stuff, right? As a guy, if I liked fake stuff, why not go the whole route and get an entirely fake woman, ads for which can be found in Hustler Magazine. The ad’s directions say, “simply inflate.”

I think he’s got something there.

Posted by Mandy Crest, blogger for In The Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website for Women Over 40!

As the economy sags, so do faces. Fault lines ripple through the economy, signaling the return of frown lines, jowls, and chicken necks. Plumped up lips are deflatimg. Frozen expressions are thawing. It’s like a facial global warming. Yes, discretionary spending is off for such fun cosmetic treatments as Botox, Juvederm, and even the more unusual treatment like anal bleaching. You may not have heard of that last one but it’s a real procedure and let’s just hope Clorox isn’t involved!

The Los Angeles Times on April 5th ran a front page story, “Cosmetic Surgery Business Sags as Purse Strings Tighten” , about the decline in optional cosmetic treatments. This IS news. It’s another sad sign of the dire economic times we’re living in. Forced to decide whether to spend $1800 for Botox injections every 6 weeks, many women are opting to let their faces go. Money that had been carefully set aside for face lifts will now be used to pay for gas and groceries. What does this mean for our society? All over Los Angeles multiple expressions will be returning to women’s faces. Women, who had seemed continuously startled, will now startle you with a whole gamut of facial expressions. The Dorian Grey effect will kick in. Overnight a lot of women will look like they’ve aged 10 years. Whole segments of the population will start to appear very, very tired. You’ll be shocked to notice that the pretty, perky neighbor, who you thought was 35, is actually pushing 50.

But here’s the bright side. California has always been a trend setting state. So, maybe all the economic bad news and subsequent losses being racked up by panicking plastic surgeons will have a positive effect. California women will start a new trend:
Kiss my wrinkles, baby, because looking old is totally radical and totally happening!

Jan Bina, blogger for In the Trenches Productions
The First Entertainment Website Celebrating the Power and Beauty of Women Over 40

A few months ago I was honored by being named a Baby Boomer Diva by the Boomer Diva Nation. I am so proud to be a Boomer Diva and feel extremely privileged to be a part of the Boomer Diva Nation . Beverly Mahone is the Founder and Director of The Boomer Diva Nation and  is an inspiration to us all and at the forefront of  bringing powerful boomer women together across the world.  She never lets us forget that we are a significant and positive force in the world and within each other’s lives.  The Baby Boomer Girlfriend’s Spring Break Getaway, April 18-20th 2008 / Daytona Beach Florida, is just the beginning of an historical movement.  I know it will be a resounding success. I want to let everyone know about this wonderful event so check out The Baby Boomer Girlfriends Spring Break Getaway to find out more about the retreat. Here is my interview with Beverly Mahone, a kindred spirit of mine and In the Trenches Productions:
•    WHAT WAS YOUR INSPIRATION FOR BABY BOOMER GIRLFRIENDS’ SPRING BREAK WEEKEND GETAWAY?  The inspiration behind hosting the Baby Boomer Girlfriends Spring Break came to me because I wanted a way to connect a diverse group of women around the country for a weekend of fellowship, networking and just plain FUN.  Initially, it was only going to be a one night pajama party somewhere in Georgia but then a friend of mine who is the General Manager of a TV station in Daytona Beach, FL offered me the opportunity to tape a Baby Boomer Town Hall Meeting and I just couldn’t pass up that deal so, with the help of my wonderful event planner Carol King, we started working on an entire weekend of activities.  I’ve been blessed to have members of my boomer diva nation group step up and volunteer their time and talents to help make this event a success.  To be perfectly honest, this weekend has taken on a life all its own but I believe that’s the way God intended for it to be.
•    WHAT IS YOUR MAIN GOAL FOR THE EVENT?  I don’t have just one main goal.  I want this event to inspire women in many different ways.  In addition to being a fun weekend, it is also designed to educate and empower us as women.  There will be seminars to address our concerns and needs as we grow older.  This is also the opportunity to network and fellowship with women you probably wouldn’t, otherwise,  meet.  There are women coming from Ohio, Tennessee, Maryland, North Carolina, New Mexico and even as far away as California.  For me, personally, I’m excited because this is the first time I will get to meet fellow members of the Boomer Diva Nation Group.  I met one woman (Linda Alexander) last year but I’ve only associated with the others through online networking so this will be an absolute thrill for me!  When it’s all over, I want women to walk away with renewed strength and to be encouraged. Our group’s motto is:  Women on the Move and Making a Difference.  I hope they will take that statement to heart and go back to their home communities and be the change they want to see in their worlds.
•    WHAT IS NEXT FOR BOOMER DIVA NATION IN 2008?  First of all, I’m already planning for the next Spring Break! :)  As far as Boomer Diva Nation goes, we are continuing to grow.  We’re actually global with Diva sisters in Australia.  There is so much talent in this group and I want to make sure the whole world knows about the wonderful resources these women have to offer.    One of our missions is to offer an annual scholarship of some kind.  We’re still working out the details for that.
•    WHAT HAS THIS GROUP DONE FOR YOU?  This group has been a totally blessing!  The beautiful thing about this group is we’re all working together to make each other better.  I really do believe the sky’s the limit for us. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you.  Plans to prosper you and not harm you.”  We’re on a mission with God leading the way!

So pack your pajamas and head to Florida.
Debbie Zipp, In the Trenches Productions
The First Entertainment Network Celebrating the Power and Beauty of Women over 40.

Something very strange happened the other night on The Charlie Rose Show. It was a small moment but a very telling one. The show aired on 3/14/08. Charlie’s guest was Floyd Norris, the chief financial correspondent of The New York Times. Mr. Norris was discussing the Bear Stearns meltdown. Part of what he was saying, a very small but significant part, was seemingly censored. I repeat, seemingly. The sound drop-out was very clean and it didn’t sound like a technical snafu. So, my husband and I were very curious. What could a financial writer have said that would need to be bleeped? We had TIVOed the show, enabling us to play it back (many times) to try to figure out what was bleeped. We finally were able to read his lips and were stunned to learn what two words had been censored:
“Bank Run.”
He was talking about the fact that a rumor had started about the imminent collapse of Bear Stearns and how sometimes a rumor spreads like wildfire among panicky investors. This is a direct quote from what Mr. Norris said. “If you believed Bear Stearns financial statements, they’re worth a lot of money. The trouble is right now they can’t monetize that. They’ve got a real liquidity crisis. What they confronted this week was an old fashioned —- —.” And those two scary words, ‘bank run’, had been bleeped. BANK RUN. So, has it come to this? Is our media censoring financial writers when they tell it like it is? I suppose the reality of what is happening in our financial markets is terrifying enough without tossing out incendiary words like ‘bank run’. Mr. Norris went on to say that what had happened in this case was that the rumor of Bear Stearns imminent collapse hastened its downfall. Prophesy became reality almost overnight. Perhaps Mr. Norris had asked for those two offending words to be bleeped, not wanting to throw another log on the bonfire raging throughout Wall Street and the rapidly plunging economic outlook.
It does makes you wonder. Was the bleep accidental, pure coincidence or are we being protected from even worse financial news? The government is bailing out Bear Stearns. And Lehman Brothers seems poised for the next bailout. In truth, all of us are bailing out Bear Stearns. Is it possible this is happening without our being fully informed of how bleak the financial picture is for all of us middle class taxpayers? Once again we’re being asked to pick up the tab for the risky, reckless maneuvers of financial experts who just didn’t ‘see’ this collapse coming. Amazing.
Realizing that those two words were probably censored felt like a strange dream. I wonder if anyone else picked up on that.

Jan Bina, Blogger for In the Trenches Productions

“By choosing a woman to run for our nation’s second highest office, you sent a powerful signal to all Americans. There are no doors we cannot unlock. We will place no limits on achievement.” — Geraldine Ferraro (1984)

Ferraro? “A four-million dollar…… I can’t say it, but it rhymes with ‘rich.’” — Barbara Bush

Twenty-Four Years. That’s how long it’s been since a woman (almost) made it to the top of America’s political ladder. Despite great strides by other women… some becoming members of Congress, Senators, even Governors, Nancy Pelosi’s 2002 election by her colleagues to lead Congress as Speaker of the House was the next major breakthrough into politics topmost ranks. Just two heartbeats from the presidency.

‘America. Love Her or Leave Her.’ That’s a catch-all phrase used by hard-liners to defend America against criticism. Right now… today… a political twist on that phrase might very well be ‘Hillary Clinton. Love Her or Hate Her.’ Has there ever been a single woman whose very name elicits both elation and revulsion within the ranks of everyday America? You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who rides the middle rail on the topic of Hillary Clinton. Polarization is an apt description of her effect on American politics.

‘Hillary Cries!’ the headlines shout when during a particularly emotional moment her voice faltered, cracked, and her eyes glistened. ‘Hillary Attacks!’ scream the pundits when she dares to disagree with a political rival. She’s cold… calculating. She’s a Bitch!

We live in a country consumed with propping up the idea of family. A country where songs that proclaim, ‘Stand By Your Man,’ reach the top of the charts. But Hillary Clinton, after standing by HER man following a series of, shall we say, indiscretions, has been called an enabler… a lesbian… a dealmaker who, if she had a scrap of pride, would have left him flat. I guess we listen more to the music than the words.

“I’ve been called some names I’d be embarrassed to repeat in public. I’ve learned that my hairstyles and fashion choices provide endless fodder for public discussion and dissection. You know sometimes I’ll walk by and see somebody on TV talking about what I’m wearing and they will have imbued it with great meaning, ‘She chose that color to send a certain message.’ I did? I’ve been told to smile more, I’ve been told to smile less. I’ve been told to speak more loudly, I’ve been told to speak more softly. I’ve been told to not speak very much at all.” — Senator Hillary Clinton

We can do better than this, can’t we? In subtle and not-so-subtle ways, the political process is rife with sexism. But say what you will about Hillary, this country… our daughters… owe this woman an incredible debt of gratitude. Regardless of whether she wins or loses the presidency, she has blown the top right off whatever glass ceiling remained in American politics. Watching her one-on-one debate with Senator Obama not long ago brought tears to my eyes. That this event could happen in my lifetime was not something I would have thought possible.

Give pause before unleashing the ‘B’ word or, worse, the ‘C’ word. Think about today’s young women, many intelligent, hopeful, and ambitious. They’re watching Hillary… and wondering if ambition and success are worth the price she’s paying. If not Hillary, then perhaps one of those young women WILL be a future president. Perhaps one will reach even higher.

Republicans, Democrats, and Independents – whether or not in agreement with her politics – must acknowledge the accomplishments and sacrifice that Hillary Clinton has made for America… and for our daughters.

As for me, I can only hope that someone gives her a copy of this post. If so, I’d like to say, from the heart, ‘Thank you, Hillary.’

Posted by Mandy Crest, Blogger for In The Trenches Productions, The First Entertainment Website for Women over 40!

Our time is now.

As a young girl growing up in the ‘60s, I was raised in a sheltered New England community. Back then, I had yet to see a female newscaster, a female doctor, a female astronaut, or a female soldier. My young mind would have thought such a thing impossible.

Not long ago, the mature woman, as presented to us by mass media, was obsessed with keeping her husband’s dirty shirt collars clean and his coffee cup filled. To be a woman relegated you to a narrowly defined path; you were not encouraged, or expected, to wish for more. Television and movies portrayed the over-40 woman as asexual, content to tend to the needs of others at the expense of her own. What dreams they may once have harbored, now buried beyond reach. The worn cliché of a woman never admitting to being over 29 years of age is grounded in fact; to admit to anything else was to put oneself in danger of being deemed obsolete.

Flash to the 21st century — today. What a difference! From Hollywood to Washington DC, female role models abound. Together we have witnessed, and continue to witness, history in the making. History made when Nancy Pelosi took to the podium as the first-ever female US Speaker of the House. History now unfolding as Hillary Clinton becomes the first woman in history to find herself in serious contention for the position of United States President. Whether or not Hillary is elected, the landscape of US politics is forever changed. For the better.

Our time is now.

One need look no further than Candice Bergan’s character, Shirley Schmidt of ABC’s Boston Legal, to see a woman of action. Age is no barrier to Shirley, nor to Candice. They’re both smart, successful, vibrant, and confident in their sexuality. No wonder Candice was chosen to play the part.

Sally Field, Diane Keaton, Teri Hatcher, are just a few of the many women over 40 who have, throughout their careers, helped to shape the collective consciousness of more than one generation. Our daughters look, as did we, to these older women, and to the characters they play. In them, they see walking, talking evidence of that which is possible; that they too are free to pursue their dreams.

The beautiful and intelligent Vanessa Williams, age 44, gracing of cover of February’s More Magazine, it’s 10th Anniversary Edition, said, “I’m enjoying every moment. In your twenties, you think, I’ve got to prove something. In your forties, you don’t.” Bravo, Vanessa.

Our time is now.

We’re wiser at 40 than we were at 30. But to those of us nearing 60, 70, or older, the 40-year old is but a child. Most of us, sadly not all, have, by the time we’ve reached 40, learned some lessons along the way. For sure, we’ve learned a thing or two about life, and about our ability to cope and adapt when change rears its head. We embrace our dreams; no longer afraid of failure, for failure is just another lesson to be learned. We refuse to live a life of regret forged by an unwillingness to act upon our dreams.

Face it, 40 isn’t the new 30 any more than 60 is the new 40. But so what? We no longer feel compelled to lie about our age. We’ve earned those numbers and do not shrink from admitting them. We no longer feel it necessary to add “for my age” to the end of each sentence when we see ourselves in a mirror and admit that we look pretty good. Far from hanging up the “out of order” sign, aging prepares us to experience that which is to come. Our confidence, not to be confused with youth’s false bravado, is real, and comes from deep within. We’ve learned to trust our instincts in our quest to realize our potential.

Our time is now!

Speaking for myself, this is one over-40 woman who will not sit on the sidelines, content to watch the young girls have all the fun.

My Time is now. How about you?

Posted by Mandy Crest, Blogger for Women Over 40 Rock! and In The Trenches Productions

Whenever I have a doctor’s appointment I anticipate a certain amount of discomfort and embarrassment. But should that begin in the waiting room? Two of my doctors are connected with a large university facility and to confirm your identity, you have to announce your date of birth in the waiting room. This strikes me as rather cruel. Waiting rooms are small and oddly intimate spaces. The first time I was asked, I put on my best Tennessee Williams accent and said, “Why darling, don’t you know it is bad manners to ask a lady her age?” The receptionist stared vacantly at me and flatly repeated the question. During subsequent visits I have taken to quickly saying my numbers, then slinking to the nearest seat, feeling the eyes of the other patients stealing glances at me. As other patients come in, I am guilty of the same age assessment game, surreptitiously peering out from behind Newsweek – gee, someone looks a lot older than 60!

At my last appointment, I was ready for the age question and simply held up an index card with my date of birth. The receptionist laughed and then told me about a patient who responded to the dreaded date of birth question, by shooing her husband to the farthest corner of the waiting room before whispering her numbers. Ridiculous? Not really. I know a number of women who’ve never told their husbands their age. I don’t know the exact age of most of my women friends. One night over drinks, a friend who’d kept her age a closely guarded secret, revealed her DOB. I was flattered; I felt like family. She said she’d told so many lies about her age that to remember her actual age she had to stop and do the math.

The bigger issue, aside from UCLA changing their nasty way of identifying patients, is why after 50, no one wants to admit their true age. For most people over 50, every birthday is their 30th. The other day I heard a very bright progressive radio talk show host ruefully commenting that her birthday was approaching and she’d be 30 – again. We try to comfort ourselves with bromides like “50 is the new 30” and “60 is the new 40”. I asked an 80 year old friend if 80 was the new 60. He replied, “No, 80 is 80.’ Well said. Maybe by the time we get to 80 we can start wearing our age as a badge of honor. Maybe it takes getting to 80 to stop playing foolish ego games regarding age.

But when you start admitting your age, will people view you differently? What I certainly fear about aging is that I will no longer be relevant, that my ideas will seem hopelessly old school. I work part time in an office where I am definitely the oldest on the staff. So far I haven’t felt any age discrimination from my younger co-workers. In fact, I enjoy all of them especially a 25 year old young woman. I could tell from our conversations that I was older than her mother. The other day we were talking about something in my past, and I off-handedly mentioned my true age, which I’d been careful to obscure. She blinked many times, and turned ashen. As I rushed to get her water, she said, “Wow, you don’t look your age.” I couldn’t tell whether she was shocked because I was that old or, horror of horrors, that young. To her credit, not long after that incident we went to see a play together and afterward went to a bar where I got CARDED. I asked the bouncer if it was seniors’ night and if I was entitled to a discount. The bouncer took one look at my license and practically threw it back to me. I’ll take his dismissive behavior over the movie ticket gal who gave me the senior discount without my asking for it! Ouch - that hurt. But I digress. I had a lively evening with my young friend and we’re planning another girl’s night out. For me, I felt incredibly free. I no longer needed to disguise dates from my past to prevent her from determining my age. So, how old am I? Well, I was born after WWII but I missed being a baby boomer by 5 months.
Now it’s your turn to do the math.

Jan Bina – still not ready to admit her exact age to the world.
In The Trenches Productions